Thank you for taking the time to read my letter and getting to know me. I hope to get to know more about you, too, some time in the future. I cannot imagine the situation you are in, but I can imagine that life is not easy for you at the moment.

First of all I would like to tell you that I have great respect for the responsibility and care you show for the baby that is on its way into this world. You decided to let this baby live her/his life, although you feel and know it is too difficult for you to raise it. Some people would have decided to end this life at an early stage. It is not for me to judge them, but the fact remains that your child will have the chance to get to know this world and to unfold its personality and talents. It will live somewhere else, but it will live. And it can learn about you and make contact with you some time.

So please let me introduce myself to you and tell you more about me.

My name is Christiane. I live in Frankfurt am Main (Germany) where I own a nice, light and spacious apartment of nearly 90 m2 on the outskirts of the city, with a big balcony and a little garden. I share it with my two cats, Luna and Idefix, who are very friendly, quiet and affectionate companions (with soft fur) and get on well with each other (and with me).

You might wonder why I wish to adopt a child as a single woman. This is how it came about: In my early twenties, as probably most women do, I imagined I would have a family with a husband and kids. But relationships either ended or I had partners who didn’t want a family at all. So the years went by, until I accidentally got pregnant in a relationship with a partner who didn’t want children. This happened twice, and both times I was very happy, as I hoped I would become a mom after all. Unfortunately both pregnancies ended in miscarriage which made me very sad. But I didn’t want to give up such an important dream and maybe later blame my partner. So I decided to pursue my dream on my own.

To me adoption seems a good way to build a family. I have good experience with it, as my sister Bettina (who is 15 months older than me) and her husband Dirk, who are both pharmacists and live in Lörrach in the South of Germany, adopted two little boys, Robert and Julian, from Colombia in 1997 and 2000. Both the boys are very lively and nice, and we get on very well. Robert is my godchild, and he visits me regularly. Julian also comes from time to time. Robert loves horses and rides them, while his younger brother is a good goalkeeper in soccer matches. They both would like a little cousin and could later teach her/him some of their skills.

When I heard about the possibility to adopt from the USA I was delighted, as I know the country well. In 1994 I spent half a year with my cousin in Cincinnati/Ohio where I got to know many nice and interesting people. I had a job in an office and learned a lot about the American „way of life“. I visited again in 1997 and would like to get to know other parts of the US, too. So I think I could give a baby an idea of the country he or she was born in. I would be able to answer questions and support her/him if she/he wanted to get to know her/his birth country better. If you were comfortable with a semi-open or open adoption a contact could be established in the future, so the child would know about her/his roots and you and your family one day. I would also be prepared to send you pictures and letters, telling you about the child’s development.

I was lucky to grow up with parents who could provide me good education and studies at University. So at my age now I feel quite "settled". I studied English, French and psychology, and after working as an employee for many years I have been self-employed as a translator and psychologist for the last four years. My work gives me enough money, a lot of satisfaction and the flexibility that is important for raising a child. I can work at any time, even at night or at the weekend. It is a great advantage for a parent to be able to work at home.
During the first three years I would also get public financial support for parents, so I could spend a lot of time with a child without having to fear financial hardship.

As a therapist I am especially interested in child psychology. I know the first years of life are important, and I would like to be a mother that gives a child the necessary emotional stability, love and protection, without being overprotective or too strict. It would be a pleasure for me to see a child grow up and see it unfold its abilities and strengths and become self-confident and independent. It is my wish to use my background knowledge to support the child, give it what it needs and understand it even in difficult phases.

As I have a keen interest in music, I would love to sing with the child and maybe teach her/him to play an instrument. I have a piano myself, and I also play the flute and used to sing in a choir for several years. Children are often quite musical and like singing or dancing. I would also like to do little projects with a child, like e.g. sowing flower seeds or sprouts and watching how they turn into a plant, or baking cookies and cakes and decorating them. I find it important to laugh together and have fun. My mother sang us „silly songs“ when my sister and I were small. That is something I would enjoy to do myself, too – especially as I still remember most of these songs.

So being a single parent to me doesn’t mean being second-best. Long-term studies have shown that children growing up with just one parent are as healthy and happy as children from two-parent families. Some experts even say that the „peace and quiet“ of a single-parent household and the close relationship in a small family are advantages. But of course I would take care to let the child get to know my friends and relatives and especially other children, so it would have more than just one important relationship. I am lucky to have several friends with smaller children who I meet quite often and who would surely make good company. My male cousins and my father would be good „father figures“. My father likes to play with his grandchildren and to explain things to them. He also tells them stories, and when my nephews visit they use to beg him: „Tell us another story, Grandpa.“

I hope I could give you a first impression of me and the people around me, so you have an idea of the environment your child would grow up in. And of course I hope you feel like considering me as a parent for your child.

I wish you all the best for the time lying ahead of you. And I hope there are people who support you in your situation, so you can feel good about any choice you make.